The Bunnymad nest is emptying

‘Baby Servant 3’ heads to university

The youngest of the bunnies’ ‘Baby Servants’ has left home for university. 

The past fortnight has been a whirlwind of lists, shopping, and gathering, whilst at the same time adjusting to the idea that she’d be moving away. That pre-university cocktail of practical and emotional stress, which is experienced by many, was, for us, more of a neat pour: just 16 days to prepare, when our daughter decided at the last-minute to apply for accommodation rather than commute from home. We’re extremely excited for her, but will miss her as we navigate this next chapter. 

With our eldest settled in his own home, our middle child looking to move out soon, and now, our youngest away at university, it may soon be just the two of us ruled by the bunnies here, as it was when we created Bunnymad back in 2002. Here, we look back at our experience of living in a home with rabbits and children. 

Bringing up children alongside bunnies

Originally, our blog chronicled the life of Neroli, our houserabbit, recording anecdotes of her encounters with ‘Baby Servant’, our first child, from when he was born and entered our home – the world where she was ‘The Princess’. However, when we were expecting him, the rabbit in our home was a mini lop called Charlie. It never crossed our minds that there would be any problem in bringing a newborn into a home where a free-roam bunny lived. Instead, we were excited and started introducing Charlie to the new baby equipment, to prepare him for the arrival. We’ve never understood why so many people rehome their rabbits when have a baby – a rabbit is not a disposable item, and Charlie was a member of our family.
Sadly, Charlie suffered a fatal bout of stasis, just a few months before our baby's due date. We were heartbroken that we'd lost him and that our first child would never know him, but we also didn’t want a rabbit-free home, and agreed to adopt a baby Dutch rabbit, Neroli, so that she could be settled in our home before the baby arrived. 

We never encountered any problems in coordinating our life with a bunny and a baby. We tried to keep Neroli’s routine, and didn’t restrict her in any way. 

A tickly kiss for Baby Servant 1

Between us, we managed to give her the same attention as always. We allowed her to sniff our newborn as soon as he came home, and included her in everything, as usual, although we decided to discourage her from ‘helping’ at bath-time, after she tipped the ‘top and tail’ bowl of water over the carpet. She soon realised she could get away with more mischief if I was stuck feeding the baby, so it was best to distract her with a treat at feeding times. She quickly became accustomed to his crying, and the noises of various toys. 

Nelly and Baby Servant 1 sharing a rattle

Nelly and Baby Servant 1 sharing mischief

She learned to dodge splaying and kicking arms and legs when he was lying on the floor, and later perfected keeping just out of the reach of grabbing hands when he started rolling then crawling across the floor. If she really didn’t like something, she was able to move away to one of her safe hidey holes. 

Neroli had a companion for only a couple of years of her life – a mini lion lop, Rosie. Rosie joined us when our son was 18 months old. She didn’t enjoy cuddles from us, but she would let our son stroke her – he knew to approach her quietly and calmly, and she would allow him to sit close to her, whereas she did not tolerate us! Our son was only three-and-a-half when she died, but still remembers her.  

Nelly, Rosie, and Baby Servant 1

Nelly giving a visual demonstration of hierarchy to Baby Servant 2 –
the Princess is always higher up than the servant

'Nelly' not only met our first son when he came home from hospital, the day after his birth... she also saw a second son and a daughter arrive in the family, and they all came to love and respect her. Their first crawls and first steps were taken towards Nelly, but we're proud to say that not one of them ever attempted to pick her up. Our daughter did, however, love to try Nelly’s food – we discouraged it, but were not especially bothered, as there is no health risk. 

Baby Servant 2 helping Nelly to find the tastiest bits of grass

Baby Servant 3 tries to steal one of Nelly's treats

Nelly retaliated by nibbling a toe off our daughter’s doll – a good motivation for tidying away toys! They learned how to give her the cuddles she enjoyed, on the ground, but if they approached with too much enthusiasm, she gave a gentle growl or boxed them, and they left her in peace – they didn't need to be told twice! She taught them the language of rabbits before they could speak their own language. 

Nelly listing her treat expectations to Baby Servant 2

  

Nelly frequently featured in their drawings and schoolwork. During those early years, she inured an utmost respect for all creatures, in all three children, and did indeed train her three ‘Baby Servants’ to become ‘good and proper bunny slaves’, as per her intention. You can see some excerpts here about how Neroli trained her first servant: The Tale of a Princess and her Baby Servant. 

Nelly demonstrating the art of staying just out of reach

The children experienced grief for the first time when we lost Neroli in 2011. They each chose a favourite photo of Neroli and decorated a photo frame to mount the photos in their room, and we planted a plum tree in our garden (Nelly loved plums!). You can read about our experience with childhood bereavement here.  

By then, we recognised the importance of same-species companionship for rabbits, and intended to adopt a pair of rabbits from a rescue centre. However, local centres were reluctant to rehome rabbits in a household where there were three young children (aged 9, 5, and 3 at the time). It’s not uncommon for reputable rescue centres to turn down applications from homes with small children – rightly so, as rabbits’ welfare can be jeopardised; rabbits should not be bought/adopted as pets for children (go to the end of this page for some of the main reasons.). 

Our local rescue centres didn’t conduct home checks back then – perhaps if they’d visited, they would have seen that our children already had a healthy respect for rabbits and that we, rather than the children, always took full responsibility for rabbit care. However, we respected their decision, and so we found a small local breeder, and chose Dijon and Mabel. 

With these new Dutch rabbits, our children encountered the energy and mischief of two baby bunnies in the house. As those bunnies entered their hormonal teenage months, our children were helpful in keeping an eye on them and redirecting any ‘naughtiness’. The bunnies featured numerous times in schoolwork, from pictures and descriptions of ‘my family’ in early years, to poems and even a GCSE English speaking assessment.  

Mabel hitching a ride from Baby Servant 3

  

Later, when Mabel developed a dental abscess, they were understanding when we needed to cancel family plans to attend vet appointments and spend time prioritising Mabel’s needs. Again, they experienced grief when Mabel lost her battle, but recognised that Dijon needed another rabbit companion, so welcomed Ebony into our home. They have always been patient in trying to gain Ebony’s trust (Ebony prefers not to be petted in any way, probably due to experiences before we adopted her). Over these years, our children learned to recognise early signs of stasis – these days, they’re often the first to spot any unwellness. Their biggest sacrifice was missing out on family holidays, when my parents were no longer able to come to bunny-sit. As our children retreated to their bedrooms during their teenage years, the bunnies became their main reason to enter the living room; also, they always checked on the bunnies in the living room whenever they returned to our house, before going to their rooms. It was always the bunnies they missed when they went away on trips, rather than us. 

A few years ago, our children had to cope with losing Dijon, the bunny who had always been there for them, offering cuddles (ground level) and kisses throughout most of their childhood and teenage years. Our eldest had moved into his own home by then, so it was very distressing for him, as Dijon had been doing so well when we’d spoken just two days beforehand. Ebony was lost without Dijon, so we quickly adopted Snoop as her new companion, and set up a live webcam so our son could watch from his new home as we introduced the bunnies. 

Ebony still recognises our son when he visits, and Snoop is getting to know him – he seems to sense that our son is ‘rabbit-friendly’; perhaps he can smell the scent of other safe animals, as our son and his partner now share their own home with two hamsters and two free-roaming guinea pigs, all living their best lives, with highest welfare standards. Of all their achievements, we’re probably most proud of our children’s respect for all creatures. 

Our family has now entered the world where September heralds ‘back to university’; but for many, September means ‘back to school’, and this often brings a wave of unwanted rabbits and other small creatures – those bought to keep children entertained during the long summer holidays. Some would have been impulse buys from a pet shop visits, others bought after children saw rabbits during visits to farm parks, and decided they wanted one. When school resumes, these pets suddenly become a burden, and will be neglected or disposed of. We’ve had rabbits in our house since before our children were born, and, over the years, our children have experienced living alongside six different rabbits, but we are still firmly against the idea that rabbits are suitable as pets for children. Our rabbits have never been our children’s pets – we have always been responsible for the bunnies. Sometimes it’s been a bit more work with rabbits in the house, and admittedly there have been some sacrifices and inconveniences, but we know that our children’s lives have been enriched by their experience of growing up alongside rabbits, and we wouldn’t have had it any other way. The quote below summarises our experience perfectly:

“These parents are giving their children more than a collection of toys. By placing value on relationships with living things, they are laying the groundwork for one of the few things in life that is truly permanent. Material things come and go. Toys wear out and are thrown away and forgotten; but a friendship with a live animal is remembered long after the natural life of the animal. And what lives on in the child who has experienced such a relationship is the capacity to care. 

We know it’s not easy to manage a mixed household of human and non-human dependants, but when parents find solutions rather than dispose of an animal for convenience’ sake and when gentle care is given to animal family-members, an important concept is communicated to the children. This is alive. This is valuable. You don’t throw it away.” 

Marinell Harriman, ‘The Importance of Permanence’ 

 

 

Why children should not have rabbits as pets:

• Stress factor: Rabbits are prey animals, skittish by nature, and easily stressed by noise and sudden movement (children are quite capable of both), which can result in the rabbit becoming ill, aggressive, or simply too scared to come out of a hiding place.
• Handling: Most rabbits dislike being picked up or cuddled (something many children want to do when they see a small, cute, fluffy animal). They need to be able to run and hide if they sense danger, rather than being restricted with their feet off the ground. They may scratch, bite, or kick to be released, or struggle and injure themselves (they have a delicate bone structure) – this is more likely when being held by a small child, who is less capable of holding them safely and securely.
• Responsibility: The responsibility of caring for rabbits is too great for a child, requiring dedication and knowledge. They are high maintenance pets, contrary to popular opinion, and classed as exotic creatures, with specific care needs. Their guardians need to understand their requirements: companionship of another rabbit, plenty of space with enrichment, a suitable diet, and suitable vet care (often expensive). A child may forget to feed a rabbit, overfeed treats, or share their own food, which could be fatal for a rabbit. Rabbit guardians need to be able to regularly monitor for signs of illness which, as a prey animal, rabbits hide, so it takes experience to be able to spot them (changes in behaviour or body language, eating, drinking, droppings). Understanding behavioural needs for a rabbit is too difficult for a child, and much of the rabbit’s body language is too subtle for a child to read (e.g. the difference between sitting still from contentment and freezing from fear). Other responsibilities include frequent changing of litter trays, ensuring the rabbit is not too hot/cold, and regular brushing. Children cannot be expected to devote this much time, or to handle such a responsibility.
• Boredom: One of the main reasons rabbits are given up is due to children losing interest. It’s unlikely a child will maintain interest in their pet rabbit as they grow up – the novelty often wears off very quickly. Child development involves learning about as much as possible, and therefore, they may treat a rabbit as they do a toy – losing interest after a while. Yet a rabbit may live for over 12 years, so their childhood pet may still be alive when they are ready to leave home (our eldest was nine when we adopted Dijon and left home just after Dijon’s twelfth birthday).

No animal, irrespective of its size, makes a suitable pet for a child. And no animal should be labelled as a ‘starter pet’ – all creatures require a high level of care, and if anything, small animals often have more specific care needs than cats or dogs.